The ciber minutes after the lights go back on already has 3 gringos in it. This confuses me. I am doing some work, but mostly checking in with my friends and doing some writing. The others are all from outside of Ocotal and enjoy the services that the big cities offer.

Im a little mixed up right now. Continually facing challenges and finding answers to them is a spot draining as this is a daily battle. Culture here there and everywhere and not a drop to drink or a person to share with or a wall not hit. Its constant. One of the few constants here. I guess I have that to enjoy.

Ok, Im going to luncheon with a PCV. We are going to eat red bean, potato and tomato soup that Emily and I made yesterday.

Smiles.

the clouds are moving across town slowly with patches of sunlight exploding here and there along the dirt roads, throwing the dust clouds into relief so you can really see how dirty dust can be. I moved yesterday, I had to leave. It was just too much. I am not a father, nor can I be one right now, there is too much gray space inside me that I do not understand.

I keep telling myself it is better for everyone that I moved out. Better for my host mom, better for me, better for the kids and the empleada. More freedom for everyone. More space to breathe, a chance to catch my breath and not worry about being on all the time. Sigh.

Freedom. Libertad.

So here I am, getting ready to embark on an after noon of work and errand running, extremely excited to be living on my own - for the first time ever - and enjoying the relationships that I have with people. Right now I have to go buy some water, visit my first host family, and get a picture of a rooster/gallo printed. Thats a pretty exciting list of things to do, right?

I think so.

i really want to run away to some dirty hole in europe and be a stinky anarchist.

Hey all.


Finished Sam Harris's ¨The End of Faith.¨ It is great. Worth the read. Or check his website.

Love from down here
demetrius