christmas is approaching. two years in a row without the family. two years in a row with new faces, new friends, new strangers in new places. new jobs. new bikes, new roads to learn, new foods to enjoy. new things to learn. new families to become a part of. new pathways to meander down while whistling and staring at the beautiful sky around me. new moons and new constellations. new routines. all this newness.

and a lot of the same too, but not too much. It feels better. I feel like im improving from where I was, i feel closer to where i wanted to be and where i want to be. learning about what i wanted to know about, doing what i wanted/want to be doing. enjoying my time without feeling pressured. and thats interesting cause in this article i just read there is mention of how white folk hide behind their skin color to ignore obligation or responsibility, which i feel like im doing. and how it, white privilege, prevents us from experiencing things, so she was saying its not white privilege, but more like white prohibition. so i feel like im missing out on being part of "the struggle" and feeling disconnected from the larger social justice movement in the us which is weird cause ive done a bunch and know a bunch but am not right now taking super active part in it all. just some hours volunteering and buying local, etc.

its sunday. ive gotta go make food.