so think internet cafe, iway, on the basement level of a shopping mall esque establishment in india, on brigade road(ithink) bangalore in the busiest, most western section of the city, yumiko and i are doctor, net cafe, coffee shop hopping cause we hate the ashram and ourselves, kind of. at least we fucking hate being stuck in rural india and then told what we can and cannot do, seriously, do i look or act like a child? yeah, no, fuck you george.

i just ate at some dirty fucking indian joint, maybe ill catch some nasty ass disease and puke for days, it'd be away to pass some of the time, time which now seems to be rotting, this whole independent study thing is new and challenge and its like fuck ive got a paper due on this day and all this time to do it, what the fuck am i going to do?

oh man, the net cafe just started bumping, and now stopped, shitty ass music - like last nights cover band IT kids coffee shop bullshit music thing i checked out. this whole country lacks the amazingness of western subcultures - aint no punk rock, enmo, artsy fuck, aint no teeny boppin activists or clean cut preppy jock kids, aint no thrift stores or dive bars or coffee bars to sleep in. just some crazing fucking culture i dont fit in - hell im finding tons of it disgusting.

yeah yeah yeah caste caste caste class class class gender gender gender - all those fucking exists as systems of oppression and control some to greater extents than others but its the interplay of space here that seems to hold sway. rural india is a whole different planet with pockets of ngo culture that are totally different and hypocritical, im talking bonded labourers at the place I live, im talking beating a dog with a stick and then threatening a staff member with it.

im talking rajeesh telling me he is a poor man, but not poor in his heart

oh shit the mission impossible theme song!!!

i think my final will have to do with the how rural and urban india sexual habits collide in sex workers, not actually in them(cause then Id have to pay) but in the space they inhabit within the broad spectrum of indian sexiness. this requires, thankfully, a good amount of first hand experience to be able to really understand what isnt said in books & journals. im excited and im really looking forward to asking people all sorts of uncomfortable questions.


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