anticipation. nervous. excitement. desire. hope. impatience.

carrie could show anyday now and i might explode when she does, im so nervous of her being here and us not being able to have good conversations or me being silly, introverted, and preventing my brain from functioning properly. gah. i really want to see her and hug her and talk and walk and play and just relax and listen and learn.
its funny how the people who are such inspirations to you can be so hard to talk to at times, i guess there is a bit of celebrity-esque pressure created, fawning, fan syndrome and so on. realizing their humanity is important, their realness, their faults and weaknesses not to elevate yourself but to appreciate and learn to love their humanity as you love your own. there is no perfect human being or perfect reality, everything is a constant challenge and growth cycle.

my pasta is cooking. im going to read.

ai

d