aye

greece

athens, patras, delphi

beauty

gentile folds of mountains ripping softly through the tactile fog which lays like a blanket.

its stunning here. peaceful, and powerful, congested and sexy, ancient and modern, authoritarian and anarchist, free and caged. like me.

and they are playing "please dont go" at the cafe downstairs. i love it.

im scared.

instability has spread from iraq to saudi arabia and turkey, not to mention afgahnistan which was never really stable to begin with. sick sense of vindication. overwhelming sense of fear and apphrension about the future, something unfelt before. not knowing has been a favorite of mine. and now, its a fear of mine.

joy. 300,000 in london(on a weekday) and protests across the United Kingdom, 20,000 unionists in Miami supported by an unkown number of anti-capitalists(around 10,000), uprisings in South America, Bolivia, Argentina. Joy.

Confusion. this is a time of change. change which forces people to choose and i feel like im not doing anything that is worthwile. am i moving forward? i dont know. i am. im moving from country to country in europe, learning, exploring, opening passages in my mind and in the world, laying the ground work for the future.

but not doing what i want to be doing.

warning: rant below

and now, because of fear, we are not going to istanbul as a group. i decided today that i am still going. i will not not go to turkey because some assholes are trying to punish the people of turkey for having contact with the west. I will not allow some other assholes to limit peoples views of who i am. I am myself. and i could give a flying ratshit about my nationality cause that is not who i am. my identity comes from my actions and my words not from my place of birth. im an american, im a yankee, im an imperialist murder by default. i have no choice but to accept that that is part of who i am. fine. accepted. but i can change, grow, move on, rise above that filth. my history, the history of the united states only speaks for those who accept it. i do not. i refuse to believe that my life can be dictated or directed by others. my life is just that. my fucking life. i will make the rules and take the chances, i will ascend to levels above and beyond america, yankee, westerner, imperialist. internationalism: yes. globalization: fuck no.

you cant make the rules for me, so dont even try.

notice: rant over, proceed with caution.

apprehension. joy. confusion.

the feeelings that mix and mingle in my head. gah. i dont know.

mike just got arrested in miami. not to mention tazed and probably beaten.

fuck.

that makes me angry and makes me laugh. makes me want to be there all the more.

i dont know what to feel. im going to check out the occupation of the athens university when im done here.

with love and, more importantly, hope.

d