oh man oh man oh man oh man

it has been what it has been and i write in really vague terms sometimes.

i love me

i love you

and i love everyone who reads and/or knows about this but does not read actively.

each one of you is a beautiful person with their own unique talents, dreams, ideas, and drive. it amazes me that i am lucky enough to interact with such amazing people.

this has been a most excellent weekend, and there still is time for it to reach even higher levels of stimuli.

the show on friday was good. we raised a large chunk of money for the fines, but are still looking for donations, anyone who would like to help with costs please contact me. there was some static at the show, a line across, one of the bands who played were fucking assholes, saying things like "my random relative is in bahrain fighting for your freedom" or "i support the war in my own way" and im like what the fuck are you doing at a benefit show for an 5 anti war activists? what they were doing at the show was supplying the PA and playing for free, im not sure how that worked out but what ever, if anything it was them breaking any ideals they might of had to support people who are actively working to undermine their way of life. hey, fuck em for being ignorant stupid arrogant violent assholes. they helped us meet our costs. whatever. its over.

so then! the fucking crew - lauren maggie olivia mike chris kaori zack arjun amanda dave james and me! did the gaung yang thing, it was my first time at guang yang and it is rather standard chinese fare. but delicious none the less. we had fun, shared iced tea, laughs, smiles, tofu, rice, and kisses. it was inagural for the collective and excellent for people in general and i made it known to the collective that i was interested in becoming more involved while i was in jersey. so i am excited for that.

kaori writes some excellent zines and draws some excellent pictures.

oh oh oh oh

van and i are begining to put together our zine, sorting through work and throwing ideas at each other, and discussing, its great, a combined act of creation in such a time of destruction brings me hope smiles and a taste of freedom.

man. i look a the fucking box for my summer class on the web and i see nothing but a pretty fucking prison. ive got so much i want to do this summer. i dont know if i can take a fucking class. man man man man. fuck. argh. in addition to classing, i am working at least three days a week. argh.

FUCK.

i want freedom. i dont want to do this. i dont need to do this i dont need no fucking general boring class that will do nothing but drive me more angry and incense my soul to break shit. i am unhappy. rar. ok, but. and yeah the almighty but, not my butt personally, which many of you have seen, but few of you have experienced. the but that if i take this class and if i get my degree in what ever, then i have at least a piece of paper which people will be able to judge me on and want to hire me for whatever reasons people hire people.

there is no way any pitful construct of language could hold my feelings right now.

who the fuck gave anyone the right to do this ?

to create this fucking hell where we work till we die in pursuit of some fantasy reality i was talking to a fellow student of ramapo and he was like gotta get a new job gotta get the money the money the money and im like, damn. that sucks. i just dont use it. and imagine if he is just a junior in college it aint getting better its only getting worse. its only getting harder and harder to get a job and get the one you need and these people dont see that they are nothing but the hampster on the wheel, we are all nothing but the hampster on the wheel, the harder we run the less distance we cover and eventually we will die. its fucking sad. and im having none of it.

so this is a call for anyone and everyone to join me, join us. let go of your chains of monetary and social oppression. and free yourself to experience life. now is the time, things are moveing ever faster and there is no way to slow any of it, so the only thing we can do is to take it into our own hands and reclaim not only our space, but our lives and our time as well. if we dont do it now, when will we do it? later? tomorrow? next week? next year? next lifetime? now is the time. so free yer self. cause no one else is gonna do it for ya.

and on that note i am going to study for three exams.

it's all about hypocrisy and good food.

ai