sad.

fifteen and propghandi are bringing about the smiles.

school is almost done.

im not sure what it is. it may be the lack of attention. or the attention i do get but that is unhealthy. like the people who have these wierd worship like relationships with me. i forward them though. i am at fault as well.

cracks are appearing everywhere and im running real low on plaster.

i really want to let it all fall. let it all fall down and crush me underneath so i cant fucking think for five fucking minutes of my lfie and my brain will be more filled with death and the struggle for air than the struggle for sanity. there is not a moment inside in which i have peace. nonstop barrage of violent images, collages of chaos and bright colors and jarring chords and hooks from old songs flashes of marches and love scenes blood stains from emotional fight scenes. something is lost somewhere. and im not editing this so fcuk you.

ai

wo bu ai wo.

wo hen lei.