looking for flights to ghana transports me back to other hot weather in different hemispheres where different languages grace my ear.

searching, clicking, guessing, hoping, not knowing, dukes of hazzard zipping across the screen. rain drops falling, zits popping, relief, over time, escape.

SCARED.

the larger the better, or not, it was accidental though fitting, i cancelled, i was nervous, i didnt know, i dont know, i still dont know, i fell back on something in my head that aint necessarily a reality. dangerous. but distancing and not ok. im going to hold though. answering vaguely as necessary for protection.

so i am breathing hanging tight lightly moving slowly and enjoying everything that i can. i look forward to what is to come. bring me music and light, bring me fear and sweet nights, bring me everything you have because my lines are wavering, im attempting to let the definitions shift, the boundaries blur and the old battle lines, predrawn in anticipation, be moved to new fields, not yet planted, or old fields, that are too firmly entrenched, honestly, all i want is to let go, violently let go, let live, and love.

love wildly, ya? indeed. ask and answer your own questions cause you are the best source your ever going to have.

demetrius