gah gah

i meet a stranger's voice last night, again it greeted me today this innspiration means meeting a stranger, strangely exciting. excited, but hesitant. cant work up the same gusto, or can i? i can, cant I?

not sure, not sure at all.

i dont know

im going to meet a stranger, strangely exciting thrilling these wonders and tests of my sexuality and humanity, who are human beings that call out in the begining of winter for some sort of connection with feeling can i deliver?

deliver upon the desired but ill fail miserably, im not as free as id like to be with plastic and metal keys in my pants my hips are locked down and sealed to control tools of comfort and mobility to be mobile and free with knowledge a plenty is a goal in the distance achievable but challenging. and i am challenged.

toes. feet, wheels of bike, and the sweet smile of a stranger sitting on a statue just looking at would could be, though i certainly dont meet the standards of any but the most accepting communities. my freedom

my freedom will be my own or it will be nothing as it is now, nothing but a pretty prison framework for no freedom and im just looking at inspiration from faggots on drugs or writings on an internet listserve that are simple and not overly techinical cant freedom be spelled with 7 letters or said with words that are simple and easy to understand.

'it takes all types to make a world' said the man to me as we watched someone snap a piece of wood against a bench, i attach my front bike wheel and ride off wondering about him and his background. about me and about what inspires us to think such honest thoughts the city forces honesty on us. in someways.

it also offers anonymoity. to be hidden from sight and in plain view all im looking for is freedom from the pain that people cause due to misunderstanding and if i stopped now id be too afraid to continue.

dont make me listen to dashboard confessional.

all i want is freedom from mindcontrol and music that defines my thoughts and actions rape scenese and violence emotions unbound and guitars that scream sadness across fiber optic cables and through high definition television screens. if i was to create my own free world it'd be free. free from this and that free from discrimination definition defaming actions and built on questions and smiles.

people enjoy those. id like trust too. a bit of trust; i trust me and i trust you. can we build on that or do we need more people to stand with us against the onslaught. if we only just believed. if we only just believed. if we only could create social structures fundamentally different than these. than these. racism, bombs, and refusal.

to disempower.

to empower.

to fall in between the lines and smile wide as the grand canyon greeting the sun, early on a weekday morning. its just another day i think. its just another day, i think. to kill possibility.

possibly.

kill. it. possibility. kill it fucking dead. i want no breath or movement from the corpse of options deflate it like a punctured bike tire. roll, thump thump, rolll, thump thump, rollll, thump thump, rolllll, thump thump, rollllll, thump thump, rolllllll till its rolling and thumping like a heart pumping blood and oxegyn open

open to possibility.

so met me for the first time before i leave, this is normal. life works like that, you dont understand it? good niether do i, lets not waste our time figuring out, ok? cause its just another day.

sunshine.