im too tired to really go deep. but my day was fantastic, i think im getting sick, new job training was like eating cake from a dumpster, practiced yoga, and had a huge long ball fight, which got out of hand, out of hand indeed.

ok so basically my friend Mcat is some type of sexual genius goddess and she has all the answers, following convo helped to open up my mind and put me at ease.

inimitable22: so what's new with you
kussmischnell: making out with ramapo peeps is new with me
inimitable22: *laughs* not bad
kussmischnell: yeah
kussmischnell: well
kussmischnell: i dont know
kussmischnell: she, (name deleted to protect the innocent), is in RCORE
kussmischnell: could be bad
inimitable22: mmm... i had a "could be bad" makeout session the other day too
kussmischnell: yeah there a good chunk of the feelings dropped tonight
inimitable22: mmm... i think society needs to ditch the idea that sex HAS to be about something more than pleasure
inimitable22: hehe
kussmischnell: word
kussmischnell: its hard though, cause im on that fine line of being like - ok - i want to fuck you and make out and the like - but i feel like im using you for it.
inimitable22: what, girls don't like sex?
inimitable22: why isn't she using you?
inimitable22: or maybe she is, and if you're using each other for mutual pleasure then why is it wrong?
kussmischnell: i love you more than you'll ever know

not all concerns have been address, but honestly the biggies have and i feel good. like why shouldnt i? oh right the 5 pg paper due yesterday. but ive been exposed to fantastic new music. and sprinf break is in the near future and i can look forward to a week of sleeping on the floor and cooking meals for the group and working for 8 hours a day swinging a hammer ! fuck yeah. i doubt life ever gets better than that except when you are ten or younger and watching some people fish up at bear swamp lake and the men have a woman carry the dead fish around. fucking wierd right? i need to go back to that lake to see what it is like now.

but for now im going to sleep, without showering and without airing out my room so the smell, the stink, the effluvia of sweat lingers.