So yeah, twice in one day after not posting for a whole month, I guess this is what happens when one spends the entire day kicking it with a computer and wifi. Not so bad. Its funny how places trigger responses, thought processes and temptations. Part of me wants to dash off so badly and do something new and invigorating. Its kind of crazy. I met nice people today, they offered me a place in their new house, for rent money that I could make in a weekend at the right restuarant. There are bicycles, carshares, three good friends, tons of dogs and close proximity to many things. Maybe most importantly there is no, well, there is just none of that.

Maybe thats a little blunt. Maybe this is just a desire cause this place is different, filled with different people doing different things. There are great opportunities to laugh and love and live in a place that is new and interesting. Is this just a desire to be somewhere else? A desire that cant wait. I want it now. Is that a simple manifestation of my consumerist mentality. Am I crazy and just a child of tv and advertising? I dont know.

It might just be the fact that I dont have all the daily concerns of my life wieghing upon. This is probably pretty normal vacation mentality, letting go of all the worries of "everyday life" and imagining that this world would be better. I guess thats just delusional. Maybe Im just an idiot dreamer. Maybe.

But I am committed to North Jersey right now. I am committed to my current job. I am committed to my father's complete recovery. I am committed to helping my mother and brother.

Those things are strong enough to keep me here, well there, right now.