things are wonderful here. but not in that rosy, easy going, glowing sort of way; in the mryiad of ways to follow: challenging thoughts from lectures, historical knowledge, various different viewpoints about religion & history, learning about liberation struggles of the dalits(untouchables oppressed by the caste system), screaming to myself: why the fuck are the kids im with not saying anything in class?, being angry at my roomate and then frustrated with myself for getting angry, indian food morning noon and night, new languages and wanting to speak them fluently without any hesitation, challenge the way i relate to situations[challenging my competitive response to everything(people, places, things)] learning to cook indian food; gender barries - like trenches in wartime, if im in the kitchen i almost constantly am being asked to leave by some of the women who work there; its frustrating then to see few examples of women involved in different roles and on the flip side all i see the men doing is drinking tea, bullshitting about politics etc, and not having the same sense of solidarity that i see among women here; the most frustrating part of this is there is no room to be "hey. well my gender is progressive, so when you through me into a situation where the men definately are one thing and the women definately are another thing i feel like a fish."