i just ate a good meal of rice and demetrius style sambar(basically a bean and veggie thick sauce) ate it with my hands and really enjoyed it. talking to joe c. and not working for the past few days has certainly got my mind rolling along with dreams about india im fucking lost in a mire of what was and what is here.

chocolate. i like chocolate. i like being crazy and i hate being alone. i like people and being with people, though more than one or two tends to freak me out unless im drunk. sheesh. thats odd right? maybe

maybe it just means that i like small groups instead of large ones, maybe it just means i like certain folk who arent psychotic. maybe i just need to calm down.

dig deep and breathe. let the sodt warmth of familiarity wash over you, feel the comfort of warmth and the wish of wanting the addiction of touch and movement moving up and down my toes pushing at angles on pedals as my calf muscles tense and flex in motion with my quadriceps enjoying the challenge of these hills, once daunting, now stunning invigorating i rush up them with energy smiles and confidence that i can crest them and relax as i coast into valleys.

it kind of feels like my bike riding is reflective of everything else. but that doesnt make anysense, ive successfully commuted twice to work now, and once to ridgewood casually. ive got a new route that i think is shorter. i guess i could possibly get this commuting to work thing down to a tight half an hour but ive got my doubts about that. im going to see what tomorrow brings.

rar

i am feeling odd.

d